The point I'm trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.
I am dismissive of the virtuous, unware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy.
So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be the best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend.
And certainly not the best friend of the bravest, the kindest and the wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune to knowing.
John, I am a ridiculous man.
Redeeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.
But as I am apparently your best friend, I cannot congradulate you on your choice of companion.
Actually, now I can.
Mary, when I say you deserve this man,it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.
John, you have endured war and injury and tragic loss
So know this, today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved.
In short, the two people who love you most in all this world.
And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that.